Disliking Doctors

 

NorthernDaddy doesn't remember many calendar dates - it's too much work for his tired brain. A few important dates stand out: June 28, 2003 (the day he married lovable NorthernMommy), March 22, 2008 (LittleNorthern was born), February 5, 2009 (quit smoking), and October 15, 2013 (the day that the mean ol' doctor killed joy in Daddy's life).

 

In October, NorthernDaddy suddenly began to have problems in his digestive system. NorthernDaddy dislikes doctors and hospitals and anything to do with sickness. He dislikes it enough that he hadn't visited a doctor in more than twenty years. However, the problems Daddy was dealing with were severe enough for him to leave work and go straight to the emergency clinic. (Trust Daddy - leaving work is BAD. It's one of the deadly sins to him.)

NorthernDaddy spent more than five hours in the hospital, submitting to tests and X-rays and endless questions from medical staff. He endured the snivelingly sick roommates and the embarassment of a hospital gown. He even managed to remove a large slice of his scalp by knocking his head into an IV stand. The results of all this poking and prodding?

 

-NorthernDaddy has to stop drinking caffeinated coffee, eating chocolate, and drinking alcohol.-

 

Apparently, NorthernDaddy had too much stomach acid eating away at the chamber between his stomach and intestines. Also apparently, this kind of thing is hereditary (um...why didn't anyone think to tell NorthernDaddy about this?).

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So, why might this be a problem? Well, NorthernDaddy was in the habit of drinking coffee all day long. Somewhere around fifteen or twenty cups a day. It was his "go fuel". Daddy also had a habit of eating chocolate candy bars. Four or five or twelve per day. As for alcohol, the Northerns live in the bleak, frozen North, and they have a five-year-old. Wouldn't you drink, too?

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It's been four and a half weeks without chocolate. Four and a half weeks without alcohol. NorthernDaddy was brave enough to try half-caffeinated/half decaf coffee - at this point, he can only handle one cup - once a week. Any more than that, and the pain starts up a little bit again.

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So what to do? NorthernDaddy has become an herbal tea connoisseur, a teetotaler, and has lost eleven pounds in four weeks by swearing off chocolate. Why? Did Daddy really want to become a soft, non-drinking, non-eating girly man? Nope. But every time NorthernDaddy thinks about eating a chocolate or pouring a drink, all he's got to do is remember the pain that made him think he was gonna die - he might be disliking doctors, but he's doing it pain-free.....