Odd Jobs....

 

There are things that nobody tells you about when you first have a child.

 

Things that you never even think that you might have to do.

 

Some of these tasks are difficult. Some of them are unpleasant. Some of these jobs are absolutely random, unexpected, and totally off-the-wall wacko.

 

Take this one, for example: 

 

 

Tightening the screws that hold the doorknobs together. Who in the world would ever think that they would have to regularly torque these things down? Nobody. Yet, NorthernDaddy finds that he has to put the doorknobs back on the doors very often.

 

Who do we blame?

 

We blame LittleNortherner, of course! That little monkey can loosen a doorknob in no time at all. Between opening doors, slamming doors, tying off his "magic tricks", and flat-out hanging from the knobs, there is no rest for Mr. HeWhoWalksWithScrewdriver.

 

Just one of the odd jobs that needs doing around here....

 



Heart-Warming

NorthernDaddy isn't too big on childrens' art work...or expressing emotion....or things being taped to his walls. LittleNortherner drew this sign the other day and pinned it to the wall where NorthernDaddy was sure to see it when he walked in the door from grocery shopping.

 

NorthernDaddy saw it and thought that it was a cute idea for a sign (Isn't that sweet?). After a few days, NorthernDaddy moved the sign onto a nearby table that isn't in direct view of the door (the syntax/grammar error was really bugging him).

 

Today, NorthernDaddy found the sign back in the original location. When Little wasn't paying attention, NorthernMommy filled him in: LittleNortherner found the sign where it had been relocated, and was apparently a little miffed that it was not where it was supposed to be.  NorthernMommy intercepted Little as he was trying to glue the sign back into place and managed to convince the little man that tape would work just fine. Little was determined that the sign be in the correct spot so that Daddy could see - every day - how much he was loved.

 

 

 

Sometimes, NorthernDaddy is stopped in his tracks and awed at the loving heart that is his son. Life gets so busy and crazy and snarled as an adult that the important things are too easily forgotten. Things like love and family and God. Maybe that's exactly why God has placed this special five-year-old in the Northerns' lives - to remind us of real life.

 

So, despite the childish scrawling, the sappy message, and the tape clinging to the wall, NorthernDaddy is leaving that sign in place for now.

 

 

 

Fairy Slippers

 

NorthernMommy ran the Race to the Top of Vermont again this year.

 

What does that mean?

 

It means that she ran up the tallest mountain in Vermont.

 

NorthernMommy also broke one of running's time-tested rules: she ran a race in brand-new, untested shoes. Sane people never run a distance race in untested shoes because they could cause blisters or leg pain or any other of a multitude of problems. Still, after consulting with her trustworthy support crew (NorthernDaddy and LittleNortherner) and realizing that the new shoes prevented her recurring calf pain, it was decided that the rule could be broken.

It turns out that it was a good decision. NorthernMommy ran 4.3 miles up a steep mountain road and walked back down with absolutely no pain. (Other than the normal "I'm gonna die" pain that comes with any running!) It must be that her new shoes are super-fast Fairy Slippers!

 The rockin' new Mizunos are just a little bit blue, aren't they? Now, everyone who reads this blog knows and loves NorthernMommy, and we wouldn't insult her or hurt her feelings, right? But....we might just poke a little fun at her.

 

Don't those new shoes remind y'all of something?....

Photo from make4fun.com

Chicken, Well-Done

 

The NorthernClan was to have chicken for dinner on Thursday.

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It was all set to go - big package of chicken thighs and drumsticks, grill warming up, side dishes prepped. The family's mouths were watering, anticipating the delicious dinner that would soon be coming off the grill.

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Alas, it was not to be.

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As the Northerns sat around the dinner table, glumly chomping on their lettuce and carrots, they attempted to solve the Mystery of the Chicken.

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One of the members of the NorthernClan grew up in a magical land in a place far, far from Vermont. On certain hot and humid nights, if a person possessed enough courage to push through the clouds of steam and smoke, they could witness the miracle of alchemy: the transformation of chicken into charcoal. (And then, it was served as dinner!) (Everyone is glad that Dad eventually learned to grill most excellently!)

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So, NorthernDaddy has seen some seriously charred chicken from a grill. The chicken that was incinerated on his grill last Thursday sets a new standard in "char".  The food was on the grill for about four minutes while NorthernDaddy talked with Mommy and Little in the kitchen. When he opened the door to go back to the grill, he could smell that something was "off". Coming around the corner of the garage, he could see huge licks of flame leaping from the grill. The thermometer on the lid (which, under normal grilling circumstances, reads 300-500 degrees) was pegged out over 900 degrees. The handle on the lid melted off, and things were so hot that Daddy had to turn off the burners by reaching with the grill brush. When he got the grill lid pried open, he found that dinner was, um... done.

 

Somehow, there was a flare up that turned into a totally uncontrollable blaze that turned the highy anticipated Chicken Dinner into Lettuce, Carrots, and Toast.

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Dinner, anyone?

 

 

 

 

 



First Aid

Know how the marketing geniuses load up the shelves at a grocery store?

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  They hang a young child off the front of a shopping cart and run the aisles - anything at that child's eye level is gonna be a best-seller.

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NorthernDaddy discovered this tactic during last Saturday's weekly shopping trip. As he wrestled the cart up and down the aisles (bearings falling out of the rear wheel and the aforementioned monkey hanging off the front), he passed the section with bandages and ointments. All of a sudden, the monkey dropped anchor (shoe rubber squeaking and sliding the cart to a stop) and started shoving the cart backwards up the aisle. "LOOK! Phineas and Ferb Band-Aids!"

 

(Oh no....just give up now...not getting out of the store without buying those darn Band-Aids..)

 

Phineas and Ferb is LittleNortherner's favorite show. Actually, it's his only show - he gets very little screen time, and it's actually entertaining enough that Mommy and Daddy will watch along with him. So, when Little saw those bandages with his favorite characters on them, he started off on a long discourse on the reasons that he absolutely had to have them. He was so impassioned and detailed that, after a minute or two, he didn't even notice that Daddy had already thrown them into the cart (hoping to shut down Mr. Filibuster).

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NorthernDaddy isn't sure if buying the bandages was a good idea or not. LittleNortherner keeps getting "boo-boos" that "need" a Phineas and Ferb Band-Aid. Was buying them just good timing, or does Little keep inflicting injuries upon himself just to get a new bandage?

 

Speaking of first aid and bandages, NorthernDaddy was the victim of an overly aggressive tray of bacon. Yup, killer bacon. This rasher of bacon was not content with killing the slow way by clogging arteries. As it came out of the oven, it sloshed 400-degree grease onto NorthernDaddy's arm. Hurt? More than a little. Startle LittleNortherner into silence? For a few minutes. He sat still in his chair until Daddy had figured out first aid for burns (as a side note, every web site for burns starts with a long, drawn-out description of the three degrees of burns. If you've been burned and are in pain and in a hurry to know what to do, you don't necessarily want to have a leisurely read of symptoms), and had started running cold water on the burned area. After he sensed that things had calmed down a bit, LittleNorthern stepped up and carefully voiced his worries: "Daddy, did you manage to save the bacon?"

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Bacon before his Daddy - guess he's being raised right!

Six days after the burn - skin's coming back!

Camping?

 

LittleNortherner loves to camp.

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The tent, the hiking/fishing/kayaking, the campfire and roasting marshmallows - he loves it all.

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Loves his LEGOs, too.

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Why not make a LEGO campsite?

 

Life Under the Big Top

The Northerns like to camp. By camping, NorthernDaddy means "car camping". You know, where you find a nice state park campsite with a great view located close to the restrooms and pay showers, and all of your gear is hauled in the car. NorthernMommy has more experience with (and thus less problems with) backpacking. You know, the type of deal where every last item you need is strapped to your back and weight is at a premium. People that backpack do things like carry freeze-dried food, cut the handle off their toothbrush, carry titanium cookware, and wear the same clothes over and over (keeping clean by washing the same pair of socks and underwear each night - in their featherweight cookpot). They do this to prevent their backpack from feeling heavy, like an angry midget that just over-ate at the Chinese buffet.

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The NorthernFamily is firmly in the car-camping category at this time. LittleNortherner could do without carrying his stuffed animals...and he'd be fine with the same set of dirty clothes for a month or two, but there's no way that he could carry enough food to feed himself - even if it was dehydrated and vacuum-packed. NorthernDaddy likes his cooler (that's where the drinks are) and being within a day's walk of a shower. Long live car camping!

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After NorthernMommy and LittleNortherner spent some time camping in a typhoon (or a hurricane, or possibly just a heavy mist), they were unhappy about getting soaked in the tent. They were very vocal about it, too. NorthernDaddy was forced to upgrade the shelter. His first pick was a Kelty Mach 6. After realizing that the Mach 6 costs a few pennies less than five hundred dollars, the search was on for a more budget-friendly tent.

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The old tent was sized for four people. Tent manufacturers like to over-emphasize the capacity of their shelters, so that tent would fit four people - if they were really, really friendly. And not in sleeping bags. Heaven forbid they attempt an air mattress.... So the challenge for NorthernDaddy was to find an "affordable, big-ass tent that is easy to set up and keeps the freakin rain out" (that's what he told the salesman at the outdoor shop).

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Eureka makes a sensibly-priced eight person tent called the Tetragon 8.

It looks like this:

Y'all are getting the stock photo from the Eureka website because, in all the excitement of setting up the new tent and, um, camping, the Northerns forgot to take a picture of the tent. (Morons.)

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This thing is huge! Twelve feet by ten feet - enough to lay out a 5/0 air mattress with a separate sleeping pad (for NorthernDaddy, who hates being pushed off the air matt by Little), still leaving huge spaces all around at the walls for packs and gear. An adult can stand up straight in the middle, it's got a full rain fly, and is just generally awesome as a family tent.

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NorthernMommy and Little are quite happy with their new tent!

 

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NorthernFamilyAdventureMobile loaded up to camp at the lake!

LittleNortherner desperately wants his own boat. After hosting his over-grown five-year-old carcass in their own boats, NorthernMommy and Daddy each agree that he should get his own boat. It's hard to paddle a kayak with him and not whack hime in the head. He also hogs the seat....