Living Large

A few facts:

-Heating oil is expensive. $3.89 per gallon this week.

-NorthernDaddy is miserly, stingy, and cheap when it comes to oil.

Thus, the thermostat in the Northerns' house is set to a max of 65 degrees. It drops even lower at night and when they're at work. In NorthernDaddy's mind, being uncomfortably cold is better than spending a fortune on heating oil. For the past few years, the furnace has sucked down about five hundred gallons of oil during a heating season. Thanks to a mild winter, the Northerns are on track to burn only 325 gallons. Being cold (and a tightwad) pays off.

Enduring a cold house is tough, but it's the price that NorthernToddler and Mommy pay so that they can avoid hearing Daddy's rants about the cost of heating oil. The instant someone complains about being cold, Daddy launches off into a thirty-minute tirade about the high price of oil and how he shouldn't have to constantly fill the tank and this and that - complete with graphs and charts showing the upward trend of the price of oil versus the stagnant growth of the household budget. If he's really fired up, the phrase "go put on a sweater" might even be heard.

There is the occasional day during the heating season that is cause for celebration. It comes when NorthernDaddy finally breaks down and calls the fuel company for a delivery. When family members arrive home and see the little delivery ticket tucked into the door frame, they know: it's Heating Oil Day. This little-known holiday is celebrated by an act known as "Cranking the Heat". For twenty-four hours after a delivery of oil, NorthernDaddy will allow the thermostat to be raised all of the way up to a glorious 75 degrees. It's a way to celebrate and relax for a short time; knowing that the tank is full. Tomorrow, NorthernDaddy can go back to his mental calculations of house temperature vs rate of fuel consumption vs market price of #2 Residential Heating Oil. Today, the Northerns shall roast!

NorthernToddler is happy....