Saturday morning, we woke to find that the flurries forecast by the weather man turned into five inches of fluffy white cloud poop (that would be SNOW for those not in the gravitational pull of Canada). {Don't we all stand in amazement that the weather forecasters consistently get it wrong? I mean, they have training, right? And the ones up here have Super-Dooper-Snow-Sniffer-Triple-Doppler Radars, and fancy wall maps with squiggle marks on them, and really nice hair-can't they at least tell us when we're going to have to shovel our drives? (I almost wrote "dooryard" in place of drive, but I have to admit that I will stay just Southern enough to never, ever use the term dooryard!)}
Okay - deeeep breath - where was I? Oh yes, Saturday morning we woke to snow on the ground. It was cold, too. Mid twenties. Whipping winds. Got me thinking about how much of an inconvenience raising a baby in the northern land can be. If you undertake the task of parenting in California or Florida, I bet you just pop the child right out the door and run about your day. In northern Vermont during the winter, you have the daunting duty to bundle your baby up against the cold.
To dress little man properly for an outing, start with his basic 'inside' clothes: diaper, onesie, pants, and socks. Now, add one parka (with liner), a wool hat (with earflaps), and booties (it's gotta be women who name this crap...onesie, booties, etc). Got it all on? It only takes ten minutes or so.... So now we prop him up, step a few paces back, and....see it? Don't have to squint - back up another step. Yup, there he is: the Michelin Man! Poofy as all heck with his arms sticking straight out from his sides. It's downright impossible to hold onto him - all that's in your grip is puffy...stuff. Think just a little farther through the process - out the door, open the garage, and you're faced with: the car seat. Son-of-a-gun! Just try to strap Little Poofy Man into that seat!
If anyone in a southern (WARM) climate would like to experience this Poofy Problem (if you yourself have a different poofy problem, I would recommend Depends adult diapers), contact us, and we can arrange for your own stay in the authentic igloo that we reside in....just be sure to enclose two one-way tickets to Hawaii(for my wife and me) in the envelope with your application!
Okay - deeeep breath - where was I? Oh yes, Saturday morning we woke to snow on the ground. It was cold, too. Mid twenties. Whipping winds. Got me thinking about how much of an inconvenience raising a baby in the northern land can be. If you undertake the task of parenting in California or Florida, I bet you just pop the child right out the door and run about your day. In northern Vermont during the winter, you have the daunting duty to bundle your baby up against the cold.
To dress little man properly for an outing, start with his basic 'inside' clothes: diaper, onesie, pants, and socks. Now, add one parka (with liner), a wool hat (with earflaps), and booties (it's gotta be women who name this crap...onesie, booties, etc). Got it all on? It only takes ten minutes or so.... So now we prop him up, step a few paces back, and....see it? Don't have to squint - back up another step. Yup, there he is: the Michelin Man! Poofy as all heck with his arms sticking straight out from his sides. It's downright impossible to hold onto him - all that's in your grip is puffy...stuff. Think just a little farther through the process - out the door, open the garage, and you're faced with: the car seat. Son-of-a-gun! Just try to strap Little Poofy Man into that seat!
If anyone in a southern (WARM) climate would like to experience this Poofy Problem (if you yourself have a different poofy problem, I would recommend Depends adult diapers), contact us, and we can arrange for your own stay in the authentic igloo that we reside in....just be sure to enclose two one-way tickets to Hawaii(for my wife and me) in the envelope with your application!
2 comments:
We will get to experience this in a month or so. Please let know any pointers on the carseat! Can't wait!!!
Please post a picture of your Mini-Me as the Michelin Man!
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