Apple Picking

The NorthernToddler family seems to have a small apple-picking problem. Every year....on the same week every year.....we pile into the NorthernToddlerAdventureMobile™ and head out to a local orchard. It's not something that we plan; it's just something we do - like birds migrating south for the winter or babies puking on just-cleaned shirts - it's an impulse imprinted in our genes or something!

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Three years in a row - same orchard.

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Note that NorthernToddler keeps getting better at grabbing apples, and NorthernDaddy just keeps getting older.

There's a common saying, "Never grocery shop when you're hungry...." Well, NorthernDaddy has come up with a new rule: Never grocery shop when you've had a stressful day at work.

That's the crap NorthernDaddy and Toddler bought for dinner tonight. It's been a long week at work for NorthernDaddy and, without going into detail, today had more than its share of problems. (As a co-worker said, "I've worked with you for years, and this is the first time I've seen you angry with someone.")(Oops - guess I lost my cool...but the work wasn't getting done, and that's unforgivable in my world.)

Anyway, about the shopping trip...cruising the aisles looking for something easy and comforting for dinner, it was decided to focus on dessert first. Bakery section ahead! NorthernToddler picked out a large sampler platter of cheesecake, but was denied when NorthernDaddy saw the $17 price tag. Carrot cake? Nah.... Mini birthday cakes? Maybe.... THAT ONE RIGHT THERE, DADDY! NorthernToddler had spotted the large cake decorated as a pumpkin/jack-o-lantern. It looked pretty good. Into the cart it went.

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Can't eat just cake, what's for dinner? Don't want chicken - that's tomorrow's dinner. Want big ol' steak. Can't justify steak's price tag. Hamburgers? That's the ticket!

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What to serve with hamburgers? NorthernDaddy has a craving for potato salad and cole slaw. No interest in making it from scratch, so over to the 'prepared foods' section. NorthernToddler was quite impressed - he's never even been in that section of the grocery store before!

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(Hey Daddy! -Did you know that there's food that's already made over here? No cooking or nuthin!)

(Yes Toddler, I know that there's prepared food here, but it's s*** to eat.)

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Well, the two hunter-gatherers loaded some s*** coleslaw and potato salad into the cart and continued around the store, adding pickles and soda to the cart - just to complete the perfectly healthy dinner! (Handy fact: NorthernDaddy would not eat pickles before Toddler came along. Couldn't stand them. Now, Daddy chomps a pickle almost every day. What's up with that? NorthernMommy thinks that it's some kind of weird reverse-pregnancy craving thing....)

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So, the NorthernToddler family went from eating locally and healthy last week to grabbing whatever processed junk was handy this week. Tonight's shopping run is easily the worst (nutritionally) trip to the grocery store that the Northerns have made in the last six months. Possibly the worst in the past year.

Yay for cruddy days at work!

(At least this guy's smiling face made the day a little better!)
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Also, NorthernDaddy got to have some fun by spending the whole trip around the grocery store telling NorthernToddler that it was Daddy's cake - not Toddler's!
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"But Daddy, it's not your cake - you hafta share it. You get a piece, Mommy gets a piece, and I get a piece!"

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Picture a grown man and a two-year-old travelling through the grocery store arguing (nicely) about whose cake it is.......

Northeast Street Rod Nationals 2010

(Uncle Jeremy, NorthernToddler took this picture himself - specially for you.)

(Here's what he was aiming at when he took that picture...)

Go to see the cars = Gotta have some french fries

Do these tires make my butt look big?

NorthernToddler Builds a Snowman

Today, the NorthernToddler Clan did all of the normal things: got up way before first light, tried to talk NorthernToddler out of having butter on his Eggo (which was whole-grain toast this morning, but he still called it an Eggo)(he insisted on butter - but out of concern for his health, his daddy spread only the thinnest layer possible; see? there's butter on there!), got off to jobs and daycare, and ran a few errands after work. NorthernToddler and Daddy fit in a side trip to see Mommy doing her coaching thing - and got wet from a sudden rain. When everyone was home and dinner was cooking, NorthernToddler quietly started working with his playdough.

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As he waited for the pasta to cook, NorthernDaddy asked Toddler what was being created. Toddler's answer? A snowman.

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Dude, you're making a snowman out of playdough? In the middle of September?

Yup, Daddy - his name is "Guy".

(Apparently, 'Guy' is NorthernToddler's go-to name for absolutely everything: rabbits, people walking by in the store, and snowmen. Anything that needs a name is 'Guy', so be sure to clearly state your name when you greet NorthernToddler, lest you be dubbed 'Guy'.)

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Our sculptor and 'Guy'.

Now, that may not look like a detailed and accurate snowman sculpture, but let NorthernDaddy help you out. Get ready for your lesson on snowman anatomy (no, there isn't a carrot in an inappropriate location - this is a family blog!).

Please forgive the poor picture quality - NorthernDaddy has three photo editors on his computer, and hasn't learned how to use any of them to place text on a picture. The photo below is a hack job slapped together in PowerPoint just to give y'all a better idea of what a snowman looks like.

Got it? That's what a snowman looks like. NorthernToddler will be grading your snowman creations come February (what? you don't get snow? We have plenty in February - stop on in, and we'll let you learn snowman making from the master!)

It's Not a Sick Day!.....

Well, technically, it was a sick day: NorthernToddler's immune system decided (at one AM) to invite croup to a party. Our little barking seal kept NorthernMommy home in the morning,and NorthernDaddy home in the afternoon. (Yay! Tag-Team Sick Days!)

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Currently, the croup is acting as if it were merely a common cold - which is fine. Nobody in this house wants to deal with stridor again.(Well, we didn't ask NorthernToddler, but he's asleep now, so we can't get his opinion at this time!) Coughing and a runny nose are easier to endure.

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NorthernToddler was feeling fairly good today; he just got tired more quickly from the coughing and trying to breathe through his clogged nose. The rest of the time he wanted to play. When NorthernToddler awoke from his nap (during Daddy's time on duty), he wanted a snack. A bowl of Cheerios -sorry, I meant "oat dust glued into little circular tubes" and several tomatoes led to a pickle. NorthernToddler is really into pickles these days. He'll chomp into one, shudder violently because of the vinegar taste, and then snarf the rest of the pickle down. (It's a good thing that he loves pickles, because NorthernMommy gets them in gallon-size jars so that she can re-use the jars for milk. You have any idea how long it takes to eat one gallon of pickles? It takes us a week, but that's with Mommy pushing us to consume them. She makes us eat pickles right out of the jar, pickles on sandwiches, pickles in our ice cream, and even pickles with our eggs and bacon in the morning! NorthernDaddy is developing a taste for pickle coffee.....)

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After snack, we did all kinds of things: we read books, chased flies around the house with a swatter, cleaned our leather boots, baked some bread...(wait - got the order wrong: we baked bread before cleaning the boots - can't be getting chemicals in the bread!)...and played soccer in the kitchen with a crumpled-up empty bag of Goldfish crackers. (NorthernToddler won on points, NorthernDaddy won on stylish trick kicks!)

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NorthernToddler also instituted "Hat Time". He got a new hat from daycare the other day, and has been wearing it non-stop. He was wearing it as we watched a Trace Adkins music video and noticed the big black hat that Trace wears. NorthernToddler insisted that his daddy go get his hat. He further insisted that everyone in the house at that time must wear their hats. So we did.

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NorthernDaddy got a picture because NToddler is too cute with just about any hat on. Below is NorthernToddler stealing Daddy's hat and mugging his best Jason Aldean imitation.

(By the way, if any of y'all had to run a web search on either Trace Adkins or Jason Aldean to figure out who they were, I demand that you start listening to a quality country music radio station!)

Uncle Jeremy is a Bad Influence

NorthernToddler is getting to be quite the fast learner. He also wants to be just like the 'grown-ups' in his life (we might be old, but we're not grown up!).

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SouthernUncleJeremy has a penchant for putting stickers on his 4x4s. He started with his Rubicon, and carried them over to the truck. It's nothing too bad, just some logos of favored companies (tires/parts/local towing companies!) put in various places on the vehicle.

We're not sure when he saw Unc's stickered-up vehicles, but NorthernToddler recently started to imitate Uncle Jeremy. Evidenced by the photo below....
(Almost forgot: Uncle Jeremy, NorthernToddler wanted to let you know that he started the whole "no doors/engine don't run" trend way before you thought of it!)

The Fair

2010 Champlain Valley FairNorthernDaddy is tempted to leave just that opening sentence and the pictures and let y'all figure it out, but he's guessing some of the photos need to be elaborated upon. For example, the above picture is of a sand castle. A slightly larger-than-normal sand castle. Somewhere around twelve feet tall. Some Fairs get big statues made of butter, we get insanely detailed sand sculptures - this shot is of the back side, but all four sides are just as intricately carved (if you can "carve" sand...).

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Below, we have......um......a full-blown race cow?

No, NorthernDaddy doesn't know what exactly it is, he doesn't know why, and he doesn't know who Mr.Scott is. All he know is that he came out of the exhibit hall and NorthernToddler was sitting in a bright green drag cow. (Please note that NorthernToddler Brands™ does not endorse any political candidates.)
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Every year, Grandpa Frank wants to ride the ponies. NorthernToddler enjoyed his pony ride - until there was a sudden stop and the cry, "SHOVEL" echoed through the tent. Yuck! The pony two places ahead of NorthernToddler made a mess! A few minutes later, the cowboys and girls were back to galloping around the circle.


Um.....Grandpa.....I'm a big boy, and I know that this isn't real fishing!

(But I caught a SHARK!)

NorthernDaddy gets his fried dough, NorthernMommy gets some fresh mini doughnuts, and NorthernToddler gets a sample of both. (Little Moocher!)

Can you see what's in that cage? Yup - looks like a tiger. Sounds like a tiger. Moves like a tiger. It must really be a tiger - so who needs the sign in the foreground?!

You can't see it, but there are thirteen tigers housed in a line of fourteen cages. Fourteen cages that each have their own sliding doors; doors with padlocks left in the unlocked/open position. NorthernDaddy knows that the odds of a tiger pushing a padlock out of its hasp and sliding the door open are pretty slim, but he was still nervous. (There isn't a whole lot to do to save one's hiney if an annoyed tiger suddenly frees himself fourteen feet away....)

Overall, this year's Fair was great - excellent weather, good food, not too bad a crowd. There were some downsides - not enough fried dough was consumed, Kenny's "game where he won a goldfish" wasn't there this year, and NorthernDaddy still cannot knock three blocks off a table with a baseball - but it was a good time anyhow!

Random Scenes From Our Day

NorthernToddler was tapping on his drum (thank you so very much, Grandma), so NorthernDaddy had the bright idea to show him a clip of some really good drummers: Top Secret Drum Corps. (Do yourself a favor and go to Youtube and watch a few of their videos.)

After watching one of their routines (specifically, their performance at the 2009 Edinburgh Military Tattoo), and seeing them toss drumsticks, throw flags, and *GASP* play with flaming drumsticks, NorthernToddler decided to follow their example.

I just hope he doesn't ask for lighter fluid and matches....

I came around the corner into the living room and found this scene: NorthernToddler trying to explain to NorthernMommy just how all of those crayons ended up in the air duct.

NorthernMommy: "How did your crayons get down there?"

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NorthernToddler: "Look Mommy! My crayons!"

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Mommy: "Yes, but how did they get there?"

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NorthernToddler: "I don't know."

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Mommy: "Did you put them down there?"

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NorthernToddler: " My crayons! Mommy! They're down there!"

Marriage Counseling...

In the NorthernToddler household, home improvement projects can cause some tension among family members. You have NorthernDaddy, who has a good idea of how things should be done. Then there's NorthernMommy, who has her own idea of how the work should flow. Add in NorthernToddler, who has no idea of what's going on - but really wants to help, and you end up with a perfectly competent crew!

Our project was to hang a wallpaper border in NorthernToddler's room. We're slowly transitioning from the original "Baby" decor to something more along the lines of "Toddler Sophisticated". NorthernMommy purchased a really neato border a couple of months, and we finally decided to tackle the project today. Installation was pretty straightforward...even though both NorthernMommy and Daddy are not very experienced with wallpaper.

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NorthernToddler was in charge of quality control.

Here, NorthernToddler and Daddy take some measurements to correct a slight mistake that NorthernMommy made.....

....seventeen feet short of making it around the room!

With NorthernToddler's help, we came up with a plan on how much more material we need, and how we'll finish the project.

This small project either qualifies as marriage counseling or will cause us to enter marriage counseling. Here are some lessons learned:

1. Toddlers love to walk all over wallpaper borders as you try to measure/cut them.
2. Yelling at NorthernToddler to get off of the border only makes NorthernMommy stressed out.
3. We need to clean out behind NorthernToddler's bed a little more often: we found toys, clothes, and a whole lot of socks stashed back there with all the dust and dirt!
4. NorthernMommy should not trust the store clerk to help convert her measurements (in linear feet) to roll measurements (in yards). (NorthernMommy says that it's because NorthernToddler helped her measure the room...)
5. Wallpaper paste is slippery,slidey, and icky!
6. NorthernToddler is very good as slamming shut his bedroom door just as his parents head in carrying wet wallpaper. (Little jerk!)
7. Home improvement projects are fun when you get them (mostly) done.

As we tackle more projects together, NorthernMommy and Daddy will get better at working together (seven years of marriage, and we're not good at working together?!), and NorthernToddler will learn to really help with the projects!

Cross Country Season Begins....

For those that don't know, NorthernMommy is a coach. Specifically, she coaches the cross-country running team at the school where she works (let's not hold her in too high a regard: she's the JV coach....). It's a nice side job that lets her spend time doing what she loves while bringing in some much-needed extra cash. The only downside falls onto NorthernDaddy - he has to pick NorthernToddler up at daycare every day from September to November. That means that he has to drive the car - not the motorcycle - to work during the best season in Northern Vermont. It also means that, because of cross-country meets, every Saturday is a NorthernDaddyBabysittingDay.

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This Saturday, we were going fishing. It was a little rainy when we got up (anybody know why toddlers insist on rising with the sun on weekend mornings?!), but by 7:30 the sun was peeking in and out of the clouds, so we decided to head out. We loaded a cooler up with ice and bait, stuck the fishing rods (or as NorthernToddler says, "my swhishin rod"), and pointed the car towards the fishing hole (does Lake Champlain count as a 'fishing hole', or is it just a tad big for that?). We had our goal: catch a mess of perch and bring 'em back for dinner. We had our destination: Sand Bar.

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What we didn't have was cooperative weather. NorthernDaddy kinda forgot that when it's slightly breezy at home, it's usually very windy at Sand Bar. The wind was pushing whitecaps so hard that we didn't even get out of the car there. We headed a few miles south to a fishing access on the Lamoille River. It looked slightly better, so we geared up and headed to the water. NorthernDaddy got the first cast (cause he baits the hooks), and it was soon apparent that we couldn't fish there, either. (As soon as the bobber hit the water, it was pushed upstream so fast that it looked like it was hooked to a rocket.) Time to bail on fishing the Lake.

NorthernToddler didn't even get a hook tied to his line...but he was fairly happy to cast his bobber all over the place. He threw it into the river, all along the path to the river, and spent twenty minutes casting on the lawn next to the parking area. He even got tangled up in his line a few times (it's funny watching a toddler get mad and fight with his own fishing line!). NorthernDaddy thought that finding a sheltered pond to fish in would be a good idea. A quick check of the map showed Colchester Pond to be the closest public fishing access, so we headed there. We only made two wrong turns before we found the parking area - or should we say "trailhead"? The pond/fishing access is several hundred yards down a huge hill - a giant trek with a toddler and fishing gear. With the wind blowing (still) and a toddler being wishy-washy about whether he wanted to fish (see the photo of him picking flowers below), NorthernDaddy canned the fishing. We would strike out towards the playground.

Somebody's pretty happy to be at the playground!

NorthernToddler declared that he was going to climb the ladder and, despite NorthernDaddy's concern that the ladder was too dangerous for him, did just that. (NorthernDaddy was on the other end of the playground and couldn't get to the ladder to stop him when NorthernToddler started his climb. N.T. monkeyed right up that ladder without slowing or losing his balance or anything, leaving NorthernDaddy to marvel at how quickly his son is growing up and how, sometimes, one just has step back from being so protective and let their kid fly.)(Well, wait a minute...not literally fly, but figuratively - let him try things to see how much he's capable of.)

So, the circuit starts with climbing this ladder.....

goes on to crossing this bridge......

and zips down this slide.

The loop is completed by dashing back to the ladder and starting the circuit all over. The first time NorthernToddler did this loop, NorthernDaddy's heart was in his throat: if the little guy fell, it would be from a distance more than twice his height, and the hospital is just over sixteen miles away....(Daddy's brain was screaming,"The hospital is over sixteen miles away..the nearest EMT on duty is twelve miles away...aughhhh!!!!" - or something like that.)

After watching his son complete the fifth loop, NorthernDaddy was realizing that NorthernToddler was quite capable of safely completing the ladder, ramp, and slide. Daddy had even relaxed enough to start breathing again.

By the time NorthernToddler completed his twelfth loop, NorthernDaddy was perfectly fine with his tot's acrobatics. The only thing required was a few warnings to not go upside down and backward down the slide, and NorthernToddler kept having fun.



At home, things got odd. NorthernToddler was happy to create with his playdough. (Note the intentional non-trademarked-spelling: NorthernMommy made this playdough all by herself! She's such a good mommy!) The odd thing is what he was creating... NorthernDaddy usually makes common things - squares, spheres, cylinders, maybe even something as crazy as a bowl. NorthernToddler was using his truck as the base for something......

....and then using his hammer on it!

Of course, the playdough gets crumbled and spread all over the living room floor after a while, so it has to be vacuumed up. NorthernToddler was enlisted to help vacuum!

The NorthernFamily's challenge for the day was to visit a local farmstand and procure dinner. The rules were simple: spend less than twenty dollars and only buy local (Vermont) products.

We found fresh corn, Vermont-produced sausage, sweet potatoes, and a loaf of fresh bread (yes, NorthernDaddy makes his own tasty/fresh/inexpensive bread, but he's gotten a little less into baking when the weather's hot) for a total of just over $19. (And that includes a bag of locally-produced pretzel snacks.)

NorthernToddler holds the prize for shucking corn (he loves to tear into an ear of corn!)